Amplifying Voices: Lessons in Overcoming Your Fear
Lessons Learned by Listening In by Kylie Teele
Two of three lessons learned by listening in to an interview with Sam Horn.
If you missed our first interview with Sam Horn, author, Founder, and CEO of The Intrigue Agency, you can check it out here. Sam shared so much wisdom with us that we've decided to share her interview in three parts.
Fear. We all know that feeling that seems to start in your gut and creep into your throat. It can be paralyzing.
So many different situations can trigger your fear: putting yourself out there, not wanting to let others down, fear of failure, the list is never-ending.
A little bit of fear can be a healthy thing. It's our brain's way of saying, "Hey, this might not be safe. Let's back up and reassess the situation before we dive right into it." But too often fear can end up controlling our lives, driving our decisions and settling into places where frankly, it wasn't invited.
One of my personal goals for 2019 was to try and live fearlessly. Easier said than done, but this goal has pushed me to do things that I would never have otherwise.
When I had the privilege of listening in on Joanna and Sam Horn's conversation, Sam mentioned fear and my ears immediately perked up.
You see, Sam's on a mission to help people create the life of their dreams: not someday, but right now. In fact, her most recent book is entitled precisely that, "Someday," and her views on fear embody that same idea: Don't let fear run your life. Do something about it today.
She believes that there are four steps to overcome fear:
Hack the fear
Put a date on the calendar
Give yourself a SEE
Have an accountability buddy
Sam then proceeded to tell a story about a woman that she met at a workshop that she was giving in Waikiki. Let's call this woman Lesley.
When Sam asked the question, "What are you not doing that you wish you were?" Lesley responded that she wanted to be more adventurous. She felt like she was letting fear run her life. For example, Lesley was in beautiful Waikiki staying at a hotel on the beach, but she had not gone into the water because of her fear of sharks. (Anyone else see Jaws as a kid?)
Sam then broke down the steps for Lesley and helped show her that by following these steps, she would be able to overcome her fear and get into the water.
Hack the Fear
Since Lesley was afraid of sharks, Sam suggested that she check out the Natatorium. The Natatorium is only three feet deep so you can't get in over your head, and there's only one small opening in the sea wall so the surf can't get in and neither can the sharks. It also happens to be where Duke Kahanamoku used to train for the Olympics.
Put a Date on the Calendar
It just so happened that Lesley would be returning home in two days, which meant if she wanted to overcome her fear, she had to do it the next day.
Sam told her, "Right now, set the alarm for six am on your phone."
"Why six am?" Lesley asked.
Sam responded, "Because experiences are more meaningful when they're metaphorical and the sun comes up over Diamond Head at 6:30. You are going to be at water's edge when that sun comes up, and as it peeks over the mountain, you're going to take a step into that ocean. For the rest of your life, you will remember this experience of when you stop letting fear run and ruin your life, and you'll start being more adventuresome."
Give yourself a SEE
"What's a SEE?" I'm sure you're wondering? A SEE is a significant emotional event. Most of us wait for a SEE, which is dramatic or traumatic, to change. We lose a loved one, we have a health scare, we get fired. Why wait for a painful SEE to have an epiphany? Why not have a pretend one?
So, Sam told Lesley, "When that alarm goes off, you're going to want to turn back over and put your head under the pillow, pull the covers up and go back to sleep. Instead, ask yourself this one question. What will matter a year from now? Will it matter that you got an extra hour of sleep, or for the rest of your life will you remember that you got up, went outside and you stepped in that ocean?"
Have an Accountability Buddy
Finally, Sam told Lesley, "The last thing you're going to do is choose someone to send a picture of you accomplishing this feat. You have to have someone to celebrate it with you and to help hold you accountable."
Lesley chose Sam as her accountability partner, and guess what, two days later Sam received a text with a smiley emoji and a photo of Lesley dipping her toe in the Pacific Ocean because she completed those four steps and overcame her fear.
Friends, don't let fear run and ruin your life. Tackle your goals, and you too can put these four steps into practice so you can achieve your Someday, today.
PS. As we mentioned above, this is part two of a three-part feature. Did you miss our first article? Check is out here.