Paying It Forward: 3-Word Reality Check

You've Done the Work, Now Share the Experience

You've experienced the power of the 3-Word Reality Check firsthand. You know how it feels to discover how people talk about you when you're not in the room, and you've seen how it can shift your understanding of your professional reputation.

Now it's time to introduce someone else to this same experience. But here's the hidden benefit: in sharing this exercise with others, you'll discover something powerful about yourself because your perception has the ability to impact someone else's potential, too.

Why Share This Exercise

As someone who has completed this exercise, you understand how vulnerable it feels to ask for this kind of workplace feedback, how eye-opening it is to learn how colleagues describe you when you're not in the room, and the difference between generic praise and specific insight into your professional reputation. 

Choosing Someone and How to Approach Them

Think about a colleague, peer, or someone you work with who might benefit from this insight. This could be a teammate who's been curious about how they're perceived, a colleague navigating new challenges or opportunities, someone you collaborate with regularly, or anyone who might find value in understanding their professional reputation better. The key is choosing someone you genuinely interact with and have a perspective on.

Since they've never heard of this exercise, you'll need to explain what it is and why it's valuable:

1. Share your experience first. What did you learn from doing this?

2. You might want to share your words. Being vulnerable with what worked (and possibly surprised you) might open up their thinking.

3. Invite them to try it with you. Explain why you want them specifically to do this with you. Then share their words directly.

When You Share Their Words

After introducing the exercise, and if they're interested, you'll share their three words with them directly. Share the two positive words that describe them when they're not in the room, and the one positive word that does NOT describe them.

Go with your first instincts about how you'd describe them to others. Don't overthink or try to make the words sound "better." If "nice" or "reliable" is genuinely how you think of them, that's valuable information. For the third word, think about positive qualities that simply don't come to mind when you think of them.

Once you've shared their words, ask two simple questions:

1. "What questions do you have based on these answers?"

2. "Are they how you'd like me to describe you in a room you're not in?"

That's it. Let them process and respond.

The Hidden Gift for You

Here's what you'll discover through this process: your perception has power.

When you share how you see someone, you're not just giving them information—you're potentially shifting how they see themselves and their potential. The words you choose can help someone understand their impact in ways they never realized.

This exercise will demonstrate that your perspective matters and that you have the ability to influence how others perceive their own professional value.